Well on friday night I settled down on my favourite seat, the couch with my six pack for a nice relaxing evening. Suddenly my two daughters, disguised as ninja chicks appear and grab my six pack and run away and hide it…………can you imagine this happening to you?…………………the horror of all horrors.
Clearly the girls are teazing me and a game is in order .But little do they know that there is a single solitary beer remaining in the fridge which I quickly retrieve. Now before I can even open this single solitary beer I am once again violently assulted as they attempt to remove this prize possesion.The game develops quickly from here as this is now a matter of honour,This beer now becomes the single solitary remaining beer in the universe,a strategic resource par excellence, and the possesor thereof is the undoubted,undisputed master of the universe.
So the mighty battle of the universe proceeds on the couch of all known knowledge.The violent ninja chicks give it their best shot and I am hard pressed and almost loose the prize, Fortunatly I have the larger ninja chick in a lock around her waist by means of my legs and the other is firmly held by her blonde ponytail so they dont get far. Pandaman now joins the fray.I have no idea whos side he is on, niether does he but he goes for it with his usual over enthusiastic boisterousness .At some stage I have to call a halt to proceeding as panda is so powerful and so excited that it becomes dangerous. I have been bashed in the face with his super hard head before and it is not pleasant. He of course does not feel a thing.
The game now morphes and I become the the universal zombie and chase the ninja girl flavoured pizzas around the garden trying to eat them. Panda can join in on this without injuring anyone.Lots of grunting,groaning,squealing and screeching follows and the girls end up hiding in the bushes somewhere in the garden so I retire to the couch to drink my beloved beer.
Now you will never guess what happens now………………..go on guess……………yes the damn ninja chicks attack me again and the second battle of the universe begins. Lots of noise, until finally the mistress of the realm beyond the universe ,aka fatty,emerges from the bedroom, where she has been reading, all angry and pissed off and instructs us to stop as we are too noisy,boisterous and someone is gonna get hurt………………………. ??????????????
Now that is clearly the end of the battle as no one in their right mind will argue with the mistress and bring down the most fearfull wrath apon themselves.I am quite relieved as im now tired and finally get to drink my beer which is still in my possesion. This of course make me the undisputed, undefeated master of the universe………obviously.
Much pleading and the girls eventually return my six pack and i am contented,These are the moment that make being a dad awesome.
Now where the hell did i put my tobacco?……………..the girls ran away giggling………
Have a great day all