pubic disclaimer……

Howdy all

What with it being mowvember and all i have noticed a couple of articles and debates regarding the status and condition of ladies furry bits.  Now being as i personaly shall probably never meet ,see naked or have sexual relationships with at least 99.99999999999999%*of the women on this planet i can only conclude that the size ,length, shape, texture, colour, hygeine ,smell, taste, stick between the toothliness,decoration or lack of any of the above, of your fanny hairs is of no concern to me whatsoever.

So ladies whatever floats your individual boats is perfectly fine by me.

*..please note that this figure is an estimate off the top of my head and has not been scientifically proven,tested or verified.Neither has this  number been published in any scientific journal or undergone any form of peer review or independant verification.Any readers using this figure for any purpose what so ever do so at their own risk and i accept no responsiblity for any losses incured or any injuries or fatalities that may result.

Have a greatday all

teen spirit……

Howdy all

Ok i have no idea why the pictures went all heywire but i dont have enough time right now to mess around trying to correct them….the idea of the pics is to personify the  teenage spirit of my era…..

last night I took all the girls out for a meal. Now  the beautiful one ,rapidly approaching teenagerhood, god forbid ,went totally to town on this. Various outfits, shoes, scarves ,belts and whatever other crap were tried on and then it was time for various hairdos, lipsticks and only god knows what else until I ,the grumpy middle age old fart had had enough of all this palaver and instructed her that if she was not in the back of the van within two minutes  I was leaving without her……she was in the van within two minutes which indicates that I do still have a little authority in my own home.

Now blondie has also sort of caught this bug but blondie is much simpler and far less sophisticated and  complicated and carries on in her general ,I don’t really give a shit sort of way…..a chip off her old fart blockhead dad so to speak….non the less beautiful.

So off we go to the northmead   square, an uneventful journey.  Now  those of you who live in the area may or may not have noticed that this mall has a sort of teenage vibe, I think the cinema may have a lot to do with this, after all we all know what goes on in the darkness of the cinema particularly the last two rows . Anyways there are a shyte load of teenagers hanging around the place.

Now the beautiful one, being a very young teenager, not quite thirteen as of yet ,was totally in awe of these other teenagers like they were some sort of gods and goddesses. I sat and observed her observing all these other kids with great interest. I am certain that she was checking out all the girls clothes, shoes, hair, make up and mannerism with the intention of copying and adapting them to her own style.

I have to say here, and I may be biased, but I doubt it …lol……after all she is my little girl, that the beautiful one was by far the most beautiful girl there. Although she is a little young to attract the attention of too many boys yet I have no doubt that in a year or two I am in for a really hard time…..poor me.

The beautiful  one has a natural beauty and a sophistication, elegance and intelligence about her that makes her stand out and be noticed. Although her fashion skills are good they are however a little over done and still a little childish but she will realize this and adapt and perfect her own methods. Her natural dark complexion that makes her appear permanently glowing and well suntanned is one of her greatest attributes and it is this that makes her so easy to photograph.. All I can say is ,she just has IT, whatever IT  is.

Now blondie is off playing on the jungle gym as she is really still a kid but the beautiful one is morphing into something else right before my eyes….quite charming and very interesting in a scary kind of way.

If the beautiful ones big sis, THE BRAT is anything to go by then im in for big  troube. The brat too is very beautiful  but she just does not realize  how beautiful she is. Ive seen the  younger  boys and the older mens heads turn when she is present. The brat however is unaware,or at least pretends that she is unaware, there is no way she can really be unaware, and has no interest , she is a hard ass who is quite capable of punching the lights out of any over frisky little, or big, wannabe studs. After all she grew up and we live in brakpan.  Im  not sure that the beautiful one has these same self preservation skills…….poor  me.

So me being the anthropological, social  satire loving me that I am i sat and watched and attempted to analyse  all these teenagers strutting around like a bunch of peacocks with their “ek is cooler as julle” attitude. Quite amusing I must say,  Although some of them look a bit like adults and all of them think they are adults, the veneer is very thin and its all too easy to see that they are really still children, let off the  leash a little but children non the less.

The over emphasis on the trendy type clothes, the designer labeled brand names, the over  tweaked hairdos and the obsession with the cool cell phones, status symbols. The self conscious mannerisms, the way they move their hands and bob their heads in those rehearshed  ,choreographed ways that they have seen the pop stars doing on tv  and the way some of the older ones drink beer and smoke, not quite sure or yet comfortable with the concept but non the less proud of the fact that they are doing it.. The overly loud false kind of bravado  attitude ,the silly giggling and talking behind their hands of the girls, the looking over their shoulders uncomfortably when left sitting in a public place alone, the  way they all observe each other to ensure that they are still “in” and that they are noticed by the others, almost as if they are trying to convince themselves just how cool they really are, and wow are some of them are really cool, super cool ,yet somehow they  themselves don’t realize it and are not sure of themselves .Very ,very interesting.

Watching these kids is a good soul searching  excersize too,  because despite being a grumpy old fart I still remember what it was like being a teenager .I SAW MYSELF THIRTY YEARS AGO. Wow what a damn silly little self conscious  twit I was. I realized that despite the obvious fashion differences and the phones that the essential characteristic of teenagerhood has not altered one little bit .Yeah the clothing is a  lot more sophisticated, not to mention expensive from  my rough and ready post punk, homemade anti fashion  inspired days, but the attitude is pretty much the same with  the over emphasis on standing out and being seen ,many of the same things are still present ie  the different coloured shoelaces,   the attention paid to hair has not altered one bit and many hairdo themes are still evident .i think doc martens were the only highly valued brand name we had…mind you those german army parka jackets were quite funky and in demand  too…..oh and of course black leather biker jackets with lots of zips….and wow those really cool tiger takkies….see nothing has essentially changed….apart from the specific paraphinalia… I watched this one kid who had clearly spent a lot of time with his hair and chuckled inside as I recall standing in front of the mirror ,thirty years ago rubbing soap into my hair to make it spikey,  and bleaching and ripping jeans ,  fond memories of a  pathetic episode……….hahahaha

A nice little trip down memory lane

Now I see myself through my dads eyes and it makes complete sense why he use to shake his head, sigh and tell me to stop being a twit…. and turn that bloody crap down whilst your about it……..

And even all the modern technology has the same result…..Loud, awful  , shitty, cheap, cheesy ,childish, poppy teeny bop crap  “music”. This one superb trendy little twit was sitting on the steps with his buddies with this little docking station kind of thing that you plug a usb flash drive into, blasting  this crap out of the speaker…are they still called speakers these days?  But man was this dude cool.  Not much different from me sitting at the parking lot come roller skating ring with a ghetto blaster blaring and being super dooper cool more than thirty years back.  Is an ipod, mp3 or whatever you call the thing these days  really any cooler than a walkman……I think not …the result is exactly the same. After all was the walkman not also the most up to date  “modern” technology  back in its day.

But I have this to say……rock on teenagers…you guys are awesome. Enjoy the few years of absolute blissful  freedom and ignorance whilst you can . I recall, oh how I recall that feeling of total unfetered freedom, when  everything was a blast and so very, very exciting,  I was gonna live forever  ,I could go anywhere,  I was never gonna die , invincible ,the sky was the limit, I was capable of anything………and believe me our generation was gonna fix all the worlds problems, bring peace, do away with hunger too etc……dream on kids……you live in a fools paradise…..but you are still kids so we tolerate and forgive you….because we love you….enjoy it whilst you still can super cool ones because all to soon it will be gone ,gone, gone …..replaced by work, wars, bonds, responsibility ,tiredness and incredible even more tired tiredness ,frustration ,doubt ,debt, obligations ,difficult choices  and  crap ………so you think school sucks?…..just wait till you get to work……..….but don’t fear this either as this too is cool and has its own rewards……you cant remain teenagers forever and in a few years youll be really grateful that this is the case…and youll look back and see just what glorious, awesome super cool little twits you really where ….and youll probably learn and appreciate  how awesome  real music  is……and complain about the crap your kids play….this is a good thing………then you shall gaze upon your own kids and worry and smile, and love, and get pissed off with them, and moan ,and be afraid of the stupid choices that you know they are going to make, and be afraid to let them venture into this crazy big bad world……and realize that you too have no choice….they have to make their own mistakes and make their own lives.

And you will know that this is as it must be and that all will be fine….rock on

Life is well worth the effort of living.

UH hum……sorry folks but what started out as an attempt at a carefully constructed piece of writing morphed into a ramble……ah well ive said what was running about in  my skull at the time so here it is

I did however learn this, Many teenagers hang out at malls to make use of the free wifi  networks….i  realized and now know this as I am starting to do the same now that I have a smartphone……im going for a fancy hairdo next…..i was thinking something along the lines of beiber….…I think I might be having a mid life crisis?……lol….…..see  I am indeed  still a teenager at heart after all.  

So parents be aware that when you drop your innocent, well behaved, well educated little darlings ,whom you love so much ,off at the mall they are actually there to DOWNLOAD FREE PORN….hahahahaha 

Have a greatday all

prickly pears and other forbidden fruit…..

Morning all

A couple of weeks back we went to the nursery up the road and they had these tiny little cacti in these tiny little pots,very cute and fatty and i are very much into cacti. So i chose myself a really cute cacti and instructed all the girls to choose one to, the only condition was that they all had to choose diffrent ones as the ultimate aim is to propogate further cacti at a later stage. And that was that.

Now last night fatty and i were pottering about in the green house as we do every evening.I was sipping on a beer and fatty a glass of wine and the girls were loafing around, getting in our way and talking our heads off about allsorts of whatever, such be young girls.

I was fiddeling around with some cacti that i have grown from seed and took a sip of beer when out of the blue the beautiful one tells us that she has decieded to name her cacti cactipussy!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF!!!!!!!!!………….I JUST ABOUT CHOKED TO DEATH ON MY BEER………no prizes for guessing what went through my mind. I always sort of thought that drowning in beer might be a good way to go but i have changed my mind.

When i recovered from my near death experience i noticed that fatty too had a huge grin on her face, the girls were laughing their heads off at the fact that i nearly choked to death but actually had no idea what the real joke was about. Wow that absolute innocence is a beautiful thing……..and i chose to leave them in their ignorance.

Well needless to say i hope i never have a run in with a cactipussy …its just to awful to contemplate .Militant feminism comes to mind right about now but i suppose barbed wire pussy would be a more apt description of that particular scenario. Non the less the end result would probably be just as awful.For some reason triffids come to mind here?……but that  thought is probably better left un thought…….ooooh too late i guess.

Ok so my imagination is going wild now so id best stop as this is a family blog and not an army barracks or a perverted sci fi journal.

Have a greatday all and keep away from those pricky pears.

something is missing….

howdy all

just a quickie to add on to the xmas spirit ….

something is missing and here it is…….

A NEW BORN KING TO SEE PAR RUP A PUM PUM…par rup apum pum…par rup a pum pum…..Im fairly sure you all know the rest

OK now ive put that little ditty in your heads for the rest of the day ill leave you all in peace.


oh what a wonderful morning……

oh what a wonderful day.

Morning all

The weather is superb this morning an im going into holiday christmas mode…even though im working right through and we are not going on holiday.

Sunshine,beer,beef,lamb,gammon,whiskey,wine,sherry,puddings galore….all these things are just over the horizon…cant wait.

Christmas lights an yo ho ho……….excited giggly kids…….this year is gonna be cool as piccaloo (my grandaughter) has now reached the age where she is lucid so she will actually see and enjoy the lights an all the goodies……her first christmas that she will actually remember.

cool hey

yo ho ho

Have a greatday all


Howdy all

I find that i am bored of blogging of late and i think the great difficulty of manipulating this useless computer has a lot to do with it. it has become increasingly difficult for me to post anything of any value. I have recalled other periods in my three years or so of blogging when this has occured. I think that it may be the whole end of the year thingy and im just tired and cannot seem to wrap my mind around anything.

I also know the cure ,if i just go on here right now as i am doing …rambling so to speak …i actually have no doubt that at the end of this something semi worthwhile will develop, Weird how the human mind works. So blogging actually at this momemt in time has become like a up hill battle and all im doing now is just plodding on putting one foot in front of the other. This is incidently exactly the same way i go up hill when im hiking. Now going up hil is physically very hard work but it sure as hell beats going down hill which is also physically hard work just in reverse. The thing with going downhill though is that you also have to mentally be aware of every step you make as falling down is so much easier as you own momentum is already taking you down.

So what did i do this weekend?….not much but at the same tie quite a lot. Ive got these broken down packaging cases that ive been putting up in the greenhouse as trellises .Now i knock every alternate plank out of the panels in order to create the trellises so i have all these extra planks laying around and being the waste not want knot kind of guy that i am i just had to find something to do with them. This is not really a problem as i could just keep them until the winter and burn them in the fireplace but i developed this idea of weaving them together in order to make more trellises.

They look quite cool ,if i dont say so myself ,but now i have a dillemma as ive already finished putting up the trellises in the greenhouse and now have a shit load of additional, even better looking trellises which i have no idea what im gonna do with… isnt life a bitch hey. I think i may creosote them and attempt to sell them or swap them for compost at the local nursery.

Apart from that i had a very chilled out weekend pottering in the veggy garden which is coming one an absolute treat with certain produce starting to come into fruit and actually delivering for the table. Cant wait till a couple of months from now when im picking armfulls of allsorts every night and not knowing what to do with it, Ive already stocked up on a 20 ltre bottle of vinigar for all the pickling thats gonna go down.

OK so thats not too bad for an of the top of my head ramble…..what do you think?……gotta get my blogger mojo back somehow.

Gonna put up the christmas lights this weekend….i love christmas. We are staying home this year ,first time for a long time so some good old cooking on the fire will be going on, Fatty and i have decieded that we are gonna buy a whole hind quarter of a cow which should be interesting, We can then make biltong,sausages and have one awesome roast and a good few steaks . Cant wait. We have bought whole pigs and sheep before but never anything as monsterous and intimidating  as most of a cow. its a little intimidating……

Anyway gotta go bfore this compu crap crashes and all this becomes in vain…..

Have a greatday all

friday at last……….

Howdy all

Ive just realized that i have absolutly nothing to say….imagine that?

But i do have the means and the medium to say it (for a change)….imagine that

cant waste the oppertunity….imagine that…it would indeed be a waste.

So i have somewhat of a dillema…….imagine that

and i shall just come out and say it……imagine that


and ill say it again…..NOTHING………imagine that…….i doubt if you can

Im of to potter in the garden and drink beer for two days…..imagine that.

Have a great weekend all


Howdy all

Well i had a little fun last night so did not get to sit in my garden as intended….but i will tonight. As we were leaving the airport the clutch cable on the van snapped, right in the middle of the very busy traffic light that runs under the freeway at the cargo section .Luckily i managed to keep going so that i could turn off into the service road an not end up blocking the whole intersection down.

Fortunatly for us one of fatties work colls stopped to help and of the two of them went to get another clutch cable whilst i attempeted to do a temporary splice in case they did not find one…..fat chance of that as all i got was a failed attempt that was not strong enough and snapped as soon as i presesed the clutch…..and i got many little puncture wounds on my hand in the process…those steel cables are nasty little buggers.

Anyway fatty and co got back about an hour an a half later with a clutch cable. They had been on quite a journey as all the spares places were closed but luckily for us they found an engineering place open that quickly made up a cable for us .Fatty is a genius. Ok it was not quite perfect and i had to dispence with the washers and the rubber stopper thingy to make it fit but it saved our bacon and was fitted within 15 minites or so. Quite difficult with nothing but a really shitty cheapo chinese vice grip and a kitchen knife and a cell phone as a light.

I had been hoping for some rain up until that point but was glad that it did not materialize.Needless to say we got home rather late so it was beans on toast and viennas for supper……and plenty farting in bed. But alls well that end well and i shall get into my greenhouse tonight.

Have a greatday all

summertime once again….

Howdy all

Well last night when i got home it was really hot so i went and sat in the bestest place in the whole world,my greenhouse in the bottom of the garden,and had a couple of beers,absolutly beautiful and superbly peacefull.I sat and watched the sun go down and listend to all the birds chattering and chunting as they came home to roost in the trees next to the dam.As it got dark it was still really hot and the nocturnal birds came out and started there abundent chattering and chunting accompanied by the craoking of what must be millions of frogs and other nocturnal water creatures.It was overwhelmingly loud and just goes to show how many other creatures we share this planet with,Most of them go totally unseen by us most of the time.

Our garden is in full bloom and is growing with incredable abundance,withing the last couple of weeks mother nature has expended  vast amounts of energy and produced millions of tone of foilage and flowers etc…and she does this almost un noticed.Their are flowers and saplings and fruits and insects,rodents and reptiles everywhere….an amazing spectacle of natures power.absolutly beautiful…..and we think that we will destroy nature…what a joke…us pathetic humans being in out illusions of grandeur……the most intelligent species on the planet?….hahahahah…..she will crush us without blinking an eye.The most evloved species?…bullshit…if evolution is so largely geared to adapting to the surrounding enviroment then in an enviroment that can only support one celled organizms the one celled is infact the most evolved.

rock on nature …..may you crush our pathetic human ego trip.

I was going to post some pics of the sunset and the flowers but my machine that supposedly represents our higher level of divinity is not working properly and wont allow it…… usual…hahahah….nothing manmade is worth the trees they cut down to make it.


Have a great day all

summertime…and the cacti are blooming..

Howdy all

This is what greeted me on my patio this morning…beautiful but does not last long. On the other side of the patio the honeysuckle is in full bloom and the whole place is smelling wonderful……its really hot …just as i like it…..long live summer.

Come to think of it isnt the fig tree supposed to be blossoming soon?

I intended posting some other pictures but the downloader is just hanging endlessly so this is it.

Have a greatday all