im mean and im tough and i aint no sissy…..

Howdy all

Bikes…..Yes bikes as in motorcycles. Now  I am by no means what one would call a biker although I have owned four of these machines  during the course of my lifetime. I have no idea why I wish to write about bikes but at the same time I see no reason why I should not.

Last easter we were down at margate when the Harley davisdson convention was on. A little interesting for an hour or so but once you’ve seen one bedazzeled Harley the next hundred thousand all seem a bit of a muchness .And the over abundance of forty year old teenage posers in leather jackets ,bandanas, silly boots ,nazi helmets , tattoos and silly macho attitudes all gets a little silly after a while. A bit like a justin beiber concert with fat bald grey teenagers in attendance. After the second day all these pseudo freaks buzzing around all over town making one hell of a racket just becomes tedious and annoying. But each to his own I suppose.

The first bike I ever owned was a little Yamaha dt 50cc, splendid little machine. Now I know that a 50 cc chainsaw on wheels is not exactly what any mean tough biker dude, or any one else for that matter , would aspire to own but for a 15 year old boy growing up in the semi  rural agricultural holdings on the edge of the city in the early 80s during the highly conservative days of the ng kerk, nationalist, john Vorster , pw botha .,blourokkie  south africa this 50cc may as well have been a Ferrari or a f35 fighter jet. It was absolutely awesome.

Overnight the world expanded beyond the tree line on the horizon and this whole new universe of adventure and opertunity was within my grasp. Did I mention that it was awesome?.There was this whole large modern city to explore and I (we) did so from top to bottom across the length and breadth and much further beyond.  Pretoria was also visited on a number of occasions and I recall a gang of us going camping one weekend  some  way out beyond  hartebeespoort on  towards Rustenburg. This was one epic journey for a gang of snot nosed, long fringed teenaged brats on 50cc motorcycles. Indeed it was……well awesome.

That bike was a watershed ,a turning point in my life, The age of innocence was over………. forever. School  became a sort of extra curriculum event ,more or less regularly, and not so regulary attended in order to keep up appearances. Personaly I think we learned a lot more than we would have learned at school in anycase and it was way more exciting than yet another round of the great bloody  trek and the voortrekkers and piet retief and all that crap.

Not long before the booze, parties  ,weed, girls, rock an roll, bands, pubs, clubs, acid trips ,rock festivals   and all of that stuff from the devil followed……..but enough of that this post is about bikes.

I loved that bike and rode the absolute shit out of it for over four years until it was stolen. I was tough and reliable and just kept on going and going and going. And now thirty odd years later I still have a very high regard for that humble little 50cc motorcycle .l  can still remember the registration no….jvb322t…it could have been jbv?……amazing.

How I wish I could just for a short while go back to that ignorant, blissfull, childish super exciting time when all was good and freedom reigned supreme ,I was invincible, ,irresponsible, oblivious, couldn’t give a damn, to hell with everyone and everything……wow…..but only for a short time.

Did I mention that it was awesome?

The second bike was a delapilated old 50 cc  that could do no more than 50kmh and was quickly destroyed at the scrambling track in the bluegum forest.

Many years later a bought a Yamaha 400 v twin thingy. This was extremely boring and was used to go to work and back. It had some or other fancy type of electronic ignition and was full of shyte .It would never idle, would never stay in tune, continually misfired, then it kept flooding ,then the fuses kept blowing. Very  annoying and frustrating and I eventually gave up and sold it. I hate vehicles that have electronics in them.

A few years back fatty and I each bought one of them off road really cheapo 200 cc Chinese crappy things. Great fun was had scrambling on the mine dumps with these which is really exciting and somewhat dangerous and both of us came off on more than one occasion but only minor injuries were sustained. These bikes were really low quality pieces of crap and rapidly vibrated themselves to pieces. Fatties got stolen and scrambling alone was boring, eventually  my bike developed a terminal vibration inside the engine and self destructed and that was the end of that. Those bikes were possibly the biggest load of crap I have ever purchased in my life…so be it.

I doubt I shall ever own a motorcycle again…..unless of course I suddenly come into a lot of money and have a midlife crisis in which case I shall buy one of those really big off road thingys that they use in the Dakar  rally, and of course a leather jacket,  I already have a nazi helmet and long hair so im sorted in that regard .I shall strap a tent and a guitar on the back and spend the rest of my life cruising the country ,spending large amounts of money on ridiculously expensive whiskey, sitting around under the trees playing guitar and getting drunk….oh and bonking every other woman that I meet of course….YEAH RIGHT.

Greatgod the hells angel………and a stud too It would seem…

Have a greatday all


18 responses

  1. I’m wanting to get a bike – seems money is going to halt me completely.
    Saw a nice one today – 650 Aquila – beautiful bike!!
    But my dream is still Harley Nightster 😉

  2. If I hit it big on the lotto a bike is on the top of my list. Never had one, but see nothing wrong with enjoying old age crisis. As for made in China by Chinese and Chinese quality control, only if you if you have money to waste you will buy such product.

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